Waiting is only temporary.

access granted.

2005-06-22T20:30:36Z

NOT
FRIENDS ONLY.

OMFGXDXD

2005-06-22T19:59:11Z

[ mood | XDDDed ]
[ music | san francisco -- vanessa carlton ]

you MUST see this, or kick your ass i will.

=D

2005-06-22T19:07:00Z

[ mood | cute ]
[ music | don't turn off the lights -- enrique iglesias ]

alex bought me this yesterday! w00t. wearing it right now. ;D

hmph.

2005-06-22T16:11:36Z

[ mood | lonely ]
[ music | the radio ]

ugh. i'm so sad that alex left...yet again. he'll be home sunday night, which is about the only thing that i have to look forward to. i can't spend the night at kelsey's on saturday because i forgot that i have church in the morning, and then other things to do besides.

and my mom's being a...you know.

and my new layout is teh shizz.

later:

and now my two sisters and my mom are tanning outside in the back yard. i'd love to join them, but i can't because my skin doesn't tan. =\ all i would be able to do is sit under the umbrella-table thing so i wouldn't get burnt.

that's upsetting. =\

XDXD

2005-06-22T02:27:34Z

[ mood | XDDDed ]
[ music | music of the night -- phantom of the opera (movie version) ]

ZOMFGWTFBBQXD

alex said "biotch" yesterday.

XDDDXDXDXDDDXDXDXDEXDEE

ZOMFGUGH.

2005-06-20T21:37:02Z

[ mood | irritated ]
[ music | breakaway -- kelly clarkson ]

ideas for a new layout? anyone?

(and i'm very tempted to make a new journal. but i won't. 'cause i'm cool like that.)

p.s. should i make my journal friends only?

I am Emeli's sigh of loneliness.

2005-06-13T21:24:10Z

[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Gotta Stay High -- New Radicals ]

I cut my finger on a pie pan that had exquisite chocolate cream pie in it.

And I'm completely redoing my mood theme. Call me crazy.
(mormegil_naa, I'm sorry all the links are broken. =\)

:\

2005-06-13T16:28:51Z

[ mood | drained ]
[ music | Frou Frou ]

Things have been so stressful around here lately. Mom has been picking fights with everyone even though I can't really blame her for it. It's not her fault all of this happened. In fact, it was her who forgave Papa for all of the things he did and made amends with him after not seeing him for ten years. I think Mom was really brave for doing that.

I feel so guilty right now because I didn't go to see him with my family the last time they went because I was too busy thinking about church, too busy worrying about impressing people, too busy being self-conscious about everything. I didn't even think. That's going to be a huge regret that I'm going to carry for the rest of my life.

Elizabeth is quitting her job at Double D's, the local ice cream place. She says that she can't handle two jobs along with lots of family business anymore. I don't blame her, either. I can understand her being really emotional from everything, especially from actually being in the real world of Bolivia. She brought back tons of awesome stuff, along with a wallet for me and one for Leah, peach jam for Mom, and an intricately, richly embroidered purse for herself.

Daddy hasn't gotten any sleep for twenty-four hours because he had to work a twelve hour night shift and then they've been doing errands since they took me to school at seven. This is stressful on him, too. Papa treated him like he was his own son.

And Aunt Julia isn't making anything any better. Papa sexually molested her over forty years ago and she still wouldn't forgive him, and now she says it's his fault that he didn't give her more time to forgive him. We're afraid she's going to make a fool of herself at the funeral by kicking the casket or something along those lines, so Uncle Mark (he's awesome; he's taken charge of everything, which is his way of making amends with Papa) is going to have a policeman at the funeral to escort her out if she does do anything stupid.

Leah was a complete bitch to Mom yesterday by calling her stupid and things, and so she got grounded from friends and everything else along that order for the week. She's been having nightmares about Papa's face and she can't stop rocking because of them. Even her medicine can't prevent it right now.

My whole household is completely screwed up right now.

By the way, I never talked about Friday and what I did over at

Well, Alex picked me up after school and we went back to his house. I was so sick of how nasty his house was, so I had told him on Thursday, "We're going to clean your house. Most of all your kitchen." And he heartily agreed. So anyways. The other rooms were easy to clean. Just some vacuuming and such. But the KITCHEN. OH MY YUNA, the kitchen. x.x;;

STATS FOR THE KITCHEN

Before: Dirty dishes everywhere. On the counter, on stools, in the dishwasher. Disgusting. Counters were sticky with residue. Food in the fridge looked moldy. Everything looked completely revolting, and it was hard to breathe. I almost vomited every time I walked in there. Floors nasty. Cat toys everywhere.

After: Counters completely scrubbed clean. All dishes hand washed. Floor mopped. Didn't have time to do the fridge.

Time: One hour to scrub counter clean. Tired, so had to take a break. Took one hour, twenty-five minutes to wash, dry, and put away dishes. Five minutes to mop floor.

Nasty, no? And Alex told me Friday night that there were already dishes sitting around. OMFG. These people (except Alex) don't appreciate ANYTHING!!1!1!!ONE

Okay, done with ranting.

Alex is gone for a week at Boy's State, something that looks good on college applications. I want him home because I have no one to talk to. My parents want this to be a week of only family, so those people who live near me, please don't call me. =\

livinginabubble @ 2005-06-12T23:20:00

2005-06-13T04:21:19Z

okay, this new layout is good. i like it. it's all good.

and i have to jouer au piano at the funeral because elizabeth's too overwhelmed to do it. =\ i know i can do it, but i'm just afraid to. =(

livinginabubble @ 2005-06-12T18:38:00

2005-06-12T23:38:54Z

i think the grief just hit.

p.s. i completely detest my layout. will be up for grabs at sw_layouts.

:)

2005-06-12T06:23:49Z

[ mood | excited ]
[ music | Let it All Out -- Relient K ]

I guess the good and bad are even now.

Elizabeth should be home any minute.

I'm so excited. I haven't seen Elizabeth in over a week.

But then we have to tell her about Papa. She was close to him. I know it's not going to be pretty. She's one of those people who's really hard to console because she won't let you touch her or anything. I'm worried about her, too.

EDIT

Poor Elizabeth. I feel so badly for her. She was so happy one moment and then we told her and she just...fell apart. =\

More news.

2005-06-11T21:15:14Z

[ mood | apathetic still]
[ music | Leaving Port -- Titanic Original Soundtrack ]

So more news about Papa.

The funeral's going to be on Tuesday, with immediate family visitation from 11:45 to 12:30, regular visitation from 12:30 to 1:30, service from 1:30 to ?, and then we go to the cemetery.

Aaron's here. He's going to pick up Elizabeth tonight.

I'm sorry, Kiersten; I won't be able to call you Tuesday because I have summer school before the funeral. I hope you read this. Much love.

I'm so tired.

Lament.

2005-06-11T18:44:23Z

[ mood | apathetic ]
[ music | the rain. ]

My grandfather died this morning at 3:10AM. I feel really guilty about saying this, but I don't feel all that emotional. I met him once, but I connected with him so well...it's because my mom's a lot like Papa, and I'm a lot like my mom. It'll probably hit when I see him in the casket. He could never visit us because he was banned from Tazewell County (where my town is) because he sexually molested my mom's sister. But that was thirty years ago. He is was so much different. I just wish I could have gotten to know him more. I haven't seen Papa for one and a half years. He lived a couple hours away.

My mom says she's all right, but I heard her sobbing through her bedroom door and my dad trying to comfort her, and then the rain started pouring down after I heard her heaving breaths. Coincidence, I think not. I think God's crying for Mom.

=(

2005-06-10T12:03:59Z

[ mood | really worried ]
[ music | none ]

So my grandpa is in the hospital, and I can't go with my family because of my STUPID SUMMER SCHOOL and how I can only miss three days.

And they say he's not going to make it through the day.

And I might miss a few days of school next week because of a funeral. =\

Sometimes I think that I'm not any good at all...

2005-06-09T18:10:05Z

[ mood | tired ]
[ music | More Than Useless -- Hawk Nelson ]

Oh, man. I'm so tired. And my sunburn that I got almost a month ago still hurts. Badbad.

I think I'm going to make myself a new layout, not because I'm sick of this one, but because I need a change of pace. Yes, I think I do.

Don't worry, all you fangirls--the main course will still be dear Hayden. :D

YESSSSSS!

2005-06-08T19:47:06Z

[ mood | [insert image here] happy! ]
[ music | Awakening -- Mae ]

So I just walked down to the library because I finished my cover letter and application and such, and it JUST SO HAPPENS that the time I went was the time that the Director of the Library was BEHIND THE COUNTER! YES! (He's the guy that my cover letter is addressed to.) And he gave me a tour of the library and introduced me to the Human Resources woman (eek! so exciting! =D). Yeah. I'm happy.

And then I saw my good friend Sean Taylor, and now he's all...he's wearing all black now, and he was such a cute kid...he just graduated and he's going into the Air Force. He came in and I didn't know if it was him or not because his hair was cut all differently (and it used to be really curly), but he's still the nicest person ever. I didn't know if it was him or not, so I followed him around the library until I could get a good look at his face. Then I didn't think it was him so I went go to get in line to check out my book, and we did the thing where when I wasn't looking, he was looking a me and when he wasn't looking, I was looking at him, because we seemed really familiar to each other. I caught him in the movie section, and he was like, "Emily!" Good times. I wished him good luck and such and we talked for a while and then I gave him a hug and I left. He told me, "Don't ever stop watching The Matrix." And I told him, "I'll always watch them!"

Man. Sometimes I wish people wouldn't change.

...

2005-06-08T17:32:38Z

[ mood | irked ]
[ music | Let it All Out -- Relient K ]

Number of times my American Government teacher said "So it was" or "So they could/would/should" in one hour, fourteen minutes: forty-eight.

Number of times my American Government teacher said "In regard to that" in one hour, fourteen minutes (including the number of times it was on the test): fifty-one.

Number of times I signaled to my friend Holly that I wanted to shoot myself in one hour, fourteen minutes: 5,635,680,934,876,324,609,542,867,954,276,943,565.

Tagged by fruityyunas

2005-06-08T15:45:14Z

[ mood | okay ]
[ music | Someone Else's Arms -- Mae ]

Anyone ever have dreams about meeting Harrison Ford exactly as he is in the Star Wars movies at the mall and then buying him a new alarm clock because he really needed one? o.O

List your six favorite songs of the moment and ask six to do the same

1. Seal of the Wind~The Three Trails -- Final Fantasy X-2 Piano Collections
2. Change the World -- Anberlin
3. High of 75 -- Relient K
4. Konstantine -- Something Corporate (This will be a konstant. HAHAHAHAA. x.x)
5. Come Lay Down -- Howie Day
6. High Speed -- Coldplay (This is where I got my username from. ^-^)
(I also really like the song Kill by Jimmy Eat World, but that doesn't count. =D)

~~Six~~ NINE people: mormegil_naa, _crimson_love_, fighting_chance, harborchaos, lovehastings, night_for_days, phantomaddict, stars_at_dawn, hiritai.

Elizabeth.

2005-06-07T20:39:38Z

[ mood | scared ]
[ music | Mae ]

This is kind of a spontaneous entry, and it's okay if you don't want to read it. Really.

My nineteen-year-old sister Elizabeth left on Friday, June third, for a missions trip in Cochabamba, Bolivia. We alll cried and stuff when she left to go to drive to Chicago with the rest of her group (called the Book of Hope) so she could board her plane. She's fine, I know, but I worry about her because right now in Cochabamba there is great political unrest because the president just resigned and there are strikes going on everywhere--the public transportation, the stores, the schools--Mom just called me here at Alex's house so she could tell me about all of this (it was in an e-mail that Elizabeth sent to her) and then ask for Elizabeth's boyfriend/future fiancé's number so she could tell him about it. Elizabeth says that there will be a revolution and that those of us here in America (and England, and Australia, and all the peaceful, free countries) are so unbelievably fortunate. God, I'm worried about her. All I can do is pray for her right now, because they're going to leave Cochabamba and go to Santa Cruz (no, not California; it's a city in Bolivia), and they don't know when they'll be home. I want her home, guys. I want her home. I know you all probably think I'm paranoid, but she's my sister, for God's sake, and I love her and I want her home.

All I can do is ask you guys to pray for her and her missions team down there--I'm going to ask my church for prayer if they're not home by Sunday--just please pray for Emily's sister Elizabeth and her family and all of the relatives and friends of the team, but most of all, pray for the safety of the team and that they get home all right.

<3

I'm so thrilled.

2005-06-06T22:46:29Z

[ mood | refreshed ]
[ music | Trapped in a Box -- No Doubt ]

Went swimsuit shopping today, and my little sister (who's a fashion queen) came with us to help me, and the very first one that we picked out was perfect. It's a bikini, white, with lots and lots of different colored sixties flowers on it. I always seem to pick out the disco/retro-ish stuff, but it all works for me. :D (And it actually gives the illusion of cleavage!)

ANYWAYZ.

So I started summer school today (American Government), and my friend Justin, who was supposed to go on tour with Fall Out Boy, was in my class, so I sit by him, which is a relief. But oh. My. Gosh. The teacher NEEDS TO GET A MINT OR SOMETHING. All of us in the front two rows suffer from his lack of hygiene. Oh dear. It's bad. So we all cover our noses when he's in front of us. Ugh. But I think that it'll be a fun class. It's only going to last a month, and I only have to get up at 6:15. Not bad.

I took a three hour nap today, and I haven't played Third Age for almost two days because some occupant of this household is utilizing my friggin' LIVING AREA. Anyways.

Jenelle + me + Thursday = ROCK. =D

But the good thing is that I got accepted to be a layout/banner/button maker at sw_layouts (Star Wars layouts, for those who live in a box)! Isn't that exciting?

FINALLY.

2005-06-06T02:59:37Z

[ mood | excited!!! ]
[ music | Missing You -- Jem ]

I get to go swimsuit shopping tomorrow!

FINALLY.

Mom said that I deserve it.

FINALLY.

YESSSSSSSSSS.

P.S. Updated epimethia.

omfgyessssssss

2005-06-04T21:17:39Z

[ mood | happy! ]
[ music | underneath it all -- no doubt ]

jenny came over and it was SO MUCH FUN. we had a videogame marathon. awesome. we went to sleep at about 12:30 but we kept waking up in the middle of the night and talking to each other. :P weird. anyways. she lent me the lord of the rings: the third age for ps2 (!!!!!!!) and i learned how to cap things so i'm a pretty happy camper. =D

mais pourquoi...?

2005-06-03T23:18:44Z

[ mood | depressed with kelsey ]
[ music | the sun -- maroon 5 ]

matt, one question--give me the 238579384750938642398432543 reasons that you broke up with kelsey for, okay?

p.s. updated epimethia.

well, at least i have the computer to myself...=\

2005-06-03T15:31:22Z

[ mood | concerned/sad/inspired ]
[ music | demise -- final fantasy x-2 piano collections ]

so my older sister, elizabeth, left today for bolivia for a missions trip with some other people from her church. i'm so happy for her and i really didn't mean to cry, but this is the first time ever that i don't know exactly where she is. i get worried, you know? but i know that she's in good hands and that she'll be all right. i love her so much. my mom and i took lots of pictures.

i tried to call jenny but she's not home. =\ but i won't call alex until she calls back because we told each other we'd leave today and tomorrow open for each other (if we could do anything, that is).

and i swear, this is the worst period i think i've ever had. :( suckiness. ah, well. at least i can have alex's babies one day. =D but i mean, i'm sick too, so it's not the most pleasant thing. most definitely not going anywhere today. =\

EDIT

jenny is coming over tonight! yay! and then i'm going to call alex at about one so he can come over and we can play zee jeux-vidéo. =D

this is interesting.

2005-06-02T17:27:10Z

[ mood | worried ]
[ music | brightest -- copeland ]

well, things just suddenly got better between leah and i, but mom and i are, well, still fighting, i guess you'd say. and i had plenty of weird dreams last night.

about the trip to canada, i can tell that my mom really doesn't want me to go. i think she thinks that i won't be able to pay for it. i'm writing my cover letter for the library today, and my friend jenelle makes minumum wage, works fifteen hours a week, and has already saved up seven hundred dollars, and she's only been working for a few months. so i think that i can do this, but i'm going to have to save every penny that i can, which means not getting my license until i absolutely have to, and the latest would be march of 2006. i really, really want to go on this trip to canada. i don't even care if if i'm paying $960 for a six day trip. this is a dream come true. i want to travel. i want to get out of here.

it'll be amazing.

p.s. this is hilarious!